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Love Bombing
This infographic endeavours to describe a term (love bombing) that is becoming more commonly used in discussions about violence and relationships. It shares what love bombing is, how it may occur, and what can be done to support survivors of love bombing.
We acknowledge and share the concerns surrounding this term and invite dialogue on alternative ways to capture this phenomenon through email and social media. Still, we believe describing this term is crucial in recognizing the forms of violence that survivors are identifying and the terminology they are utilizing.
Aug 2024
A note on language: The use of the word bombing can be harmful. Follow the lead of survivors in using the terms they feel comfortable with.“Love bombing” is a way of exercising control through overwhelming displays of affection, gifts, and praise.
It usually begins early in an intimate relationship and/or following an incident of abuse to avoid a breakup and minimize the abuse. Love bombing can be difficult to identify because it can seem romantic and make the person feel happy and loved.
However, love bombing differs from romance as it occurs along with controlling behaviours. The person love bombing might push for a serious commitment early on, demand all their partner's attention, require constant communication, and show possessiveness which leaves their partner feeling guilty, uncomfortable, pressured, and smothered.
For example, a person experiencing love bombing may receive texts like:
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I know we just had dinner last night but let’s meet for lunch! I cannot stop thinking about you.
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Maybe it is because we are from the same culture, but no ex got me like you do. We must be soulmates. I love you so much. 🥰 Let’s move in together asap.
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Please leave the party!! Reply as soon as you can because I am worried. I also need to give you your medicine before bed.
Love bombing often occurs with further forms of abuse.
A person who love bombs may obsessively monitor their partner and place unrealistic and unfair expectations on them, such as denying personal time, and react explosively if the survivor disagrees. They may also punish the survivor for not meeting their expectations resorting to emotional, physical, financial, and technology-facilitated abuse.
Supporting survivors of love bombing can include:
- Encouraging them to trust themselves if something feels off and things are moving too fast: “It’s okay if you are not feeling ready for a serious commitment. Someone who respects and cares for you will understand!”
- Discussing what healthy relationships can and should look like with them: “Your partner should understand if you are busy.”
- Recognizing their strengths, independence, and interests outside of the relationship. For instance: “I heard you used to go dancing a lot - would you like to do that again?”
- Working with survivors to communicate clear boundaries with their partners. For example: “It is sweet you want a key to my place, but it feels too soon.”
- Building safety plans with the survivor.
Citation: Lalonde, D. (2024). Love Bombing. Learning Network Infographic. London, Ontario: Centre for Research & Education on Violence Against Women & Children.
Graphic Design:
Dianne Lalonde, Research and Knowledge Mobilization Specialist, Learning Network
Emily Kumpf, Centre for Research & Education on Violence Against Women & Children, Western University
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